Again today my head is going around and around. I don’t know where to start thinking, lol.
OMG. I’m pregnant! So very exciting.
I joined my due date clubs on my forums today. I’m really excited about that. Actually I did it late last night but today I’m starting to get a feel of who else is in there with me. I’m excited to see gals from my trying to conceive forums there too.
And part of me is still amazed and floored that we sent out an invitation to this little person, and this little person answered right away! Wow. Conscious conception is amazing.
But my thoughts are turning more towards prenatal care and even to birth now. I would be lying if I said I’m not a little nervous about finding a midwife here. I absolutely know how to take care of myself during pregnancy and I trust myself. Me and my books and I’m good. So long as I moderate my stress and my attitudes (live gratefully). My first three pregnancies have taught me how to take care of myself and also how to trust myself.
So I’m a little apprehensive about finding a midwife here, that I do not know. I’ve emailed a midwife here back and forth a few times but I’m still a little wary. Maybe just because it’s not “my” midwife that was there for the first three. I really sort of would like to just handle my pregnancy on my own though. But I can’t do that and have a midwife at the birth. And I’m not sure what my thoughts on that are.
In running NBBC I have done so much reading on birth. Even more than I had during my pregnancies. And I’ve learned so much about it. And I trust birth. I trust it implicitly. And I trust my body. I absolutely did NOT want to get pregnant at one point – and I had an anovulatory cycle that month. This month I had every intention of getting pregnant and I did. I am not trying to sound full of myself – I know unexpected things sometimes happen. But I believe in my body and my ability to work with it. And I’ve read a lot of stories from a lot of women who believed the same about themselves. And their beliefs manifested in beautiful ways.
It’s something that will take a lot of thought on my part. I will spend hours and hours and hours talking to my baby, thinking about our baby, thinking about the birth, and visualizing the birth in a million different ways. I did this with my third pregnancy especially and had the most amazingly wonderful and peaceful birth. So I’ll spend a lot of time on it. And thankfully I have nine months to do so.
So now comes the thoughts, the self-care, the reading. So much reading. So much to do, to think. On top of everything else, lol! But I’m looking forward to it. So very thankful I get this opportunity again. Awed that I am so blessed.
