Galen was chronicled on Natural Birth and Baby Care from start to finish (in fact, I started this blog because we were TTC him!) I thought I’d share some highlights:

We’re pregnant: a very faint positive at 10DPO (days post/past ovulation)!

My chart hits 18 days of high temps – a pretty certain sign of pregnancy! (Scroll to the bottom to see my chart)

We discover we’re expecting a son!

I do a marathon freezer cooking session to get ready for baby!  Talk about nesting.  This year I created a freezer meal plan for you based on that session

Scott and I use The Pink Kit to prepare for the birth (it’s excellent!) and I write down all the details for you.

Finally, finally, finally, our precious baby boy arrives – and Scott and I are the only ones to witness his debut!

And now today, one year later, our little man is growing strong.  He has been such an incredible joy and blessing to our family.  I’m delighted he decided to join us   I’ll leave with a parting shot of his first few minutes:

Mark Sloan is a pediatrician and writes about birth and newborns from a unique perspective not often seen in the world of pregnancy and birth books. Sloan has meticulously researched the book.

Birth

You’ll be pulled in immediately as Sloan recounts his own introduction to birth during medical school. From there Birth Day tackles how our own vaginal birth process differs from that of the higher primates – and give possible reasons for why we developed such a complex process of birthing. I differ in opinion from Sloan on some of these issues; however his arguments are well-reasoned and interesting to read. Sloan also discusses the history of vaginal birth and positions used during birth in this chapter.

The second chapter moves into a description of that almost-imperceptible transition babies go through – moving from a fetus living in the water-world of the womb to a newborn snuggled in the airy world of his or her mother’s arms. You’ll find this chapter fascinating. Again, Sloan will keep you turning pages as he weaves the stories of two babies into the factual information.

In the third chapter Sloan discusses cesarean birth. This chapter is really well done. Sloan presents lots of information on the history of cesarean then moves into what the surgery looks like in modern times. The book does a great job of explaining how and why cesarean birth may be necessary for some women and babies – while also acknowledging and speculating on just why the cesarean rate is currently so high.

Pain Relief – Past and Present

Chapter 4 is titled “B.E. (Before Epidurals)” and it’s a fascinating chapter! Sloan has done a good job researching the use of pain medications during childbirth. It’s very interesting to look back at where we’ve come from – and the book moves right into where we are now in Chapter 5. Sloan continues to explore childbirth pain relief from a modern perspective. You may be surprised to learn that in our epidural-dominated world there are other options – including options available outside the US that well, you just can’t get here.

I believe in natural childbirth, but even I have to wonder why some of these relatively effective and possibly less detrimental options are not really available to more women. As Sloan states, ours is a culture of epidurals.

Birth Day does take time to discuss five non-drug methods of pain relief during childbirth. It does a fair job with this, even discussing water for labor pain relief. Sloan does not bring up the issue of water birth (where the baby is actually born underwater) – in fact, he never comments on other birthing alternatives like birth center or home births and how they may affect labor pain or the perception of it.

Doulas are discussed – in a fair amount of detail. Sloan is a fan of doulas, and for good reason. He spells those reasons, all supported by research, out in Birth Day. He also discusses the history of birth attendants.

On Daddies and Babies

There’s a chapter devoted just to Daddies. My husband greatly enjoyed it. We both found it really interesting that new dads (and dads to be) actually go through hormonal changes during their mates’ pregnancies.

The final section of the book covers the cuddly result of pregnancy – the babies. Sloan covers much of the research done on what babies can and can’t perceive with their sense while in the womb, and in the newborn and infant period. It’s interesting reading, though a little drier than earlier chapters of the book!

A chapter covering the “baby worth rearing” is included here. I greatly enjoyed this chapter, which discusses how the current infant “rating” system – the APGAR – came to be. I also found the peek into modern-day pediatrics with its newborn procedure flow-charts to be fascinating.

The last chapter in the book does an inch-by-inch guided tour of the newborn. This chapter has become a favorite “inside joke” of my husband and me because it discusses possible reasons for babies to be pretty generic (Sloan theorizes it’s probably so a man would continue to raise a baby that may not have biologically been his own). Accusations of our own “generic baby” (who with flaming red hair is not exactly “generic”) fly regularly through the house (along with laughter).

But the chapter in itself is a great ending to the book, providing the now expected fascinating tidbits of information on why babies may look like they do, why your science teachers got some things wrong, and other interesting facts.

Sloan does use this chapter to address circumcision. He does a great job tackling this extremely controversial subject. He gives a lot of historical information, good references, and a balanced discussion.

A Real Page-Turner

All in all Birth Day is an excellent read. There were a few parts of it I found myself feeling may be over the top – my views and Sloan’s do differ. But as I stated early in the review, it all gives food for thought.

The entire book is well-written in a consistent and engaging style. Birth Day keeps you turning pages! Because it does discuss some heavier pregnancy and newborn issues you may want to avoid reading it in your third trimester. But otherwise pick it up for an enjoyable and really fascinating read!

The issue is not, however, that Galen refuses food.  In fact, Galen seems to greatly enjoy some things.  My milk is the primary highlight to his diet, of course.  But Galen also really likes chicken stock and water.  If you’re giving Galen chicken stock or water from a spoon he looks like the baby in the photograph.

But the reason you haven’t seen many updates on “feeding Galen” since my first post is that feeding him has really not gone anywhere.  When we try and feed him anything with any sort of texture, Galen cannot swallow it.  There have been a few meals here and there where we’ve gotten tiny amounts into him.  When I say tiny I’m talking around 1/16th of a teaspoon.  TINY.  But mostly Galen just gags when solid foods get to his tongue.  And that means that anything that was in his belly comes back up.  Even his mama milk.

Initially I didn’t worry too much about his disinterest in solid foods.  And at this point I’m still trying not to worry.  Cassidy was also late starting solid foods.  The difference is that when Cassidy started she was already ready to go with finger foods.  She was happy feeding herself and she could get almost anything down.

Galen doesn’t put much in his mouth.  If we give him bits of finger foods he just moves them around on his tray.  He doesn’t put them in his mouth.  He chews on his fingers (and my hair, eww).  And that’s about it.

He can’t eat even pureed food.  So for right now his nutrition is coming 100% from nursing.  I’m working hard to make sure I’m eating well for him so he’s getting good, rich milk.  And we try with solids every few days to see if what seems to be a texture aversion is lessening.  I’ve gotten a lot of suggestions for things, and I’m researching around.  I’ve also talked it over with his doctor.  For a couple of weeks at least we’re in a “wait and see” mode.  But this is very different from what I experienced with the other kids.  There’s always so much to learn, and children always have such different needs.  Parenting is definitely the most challenging job out there

None of my little ones have seemed too enthused over solid foods at first (you would never guess this from the way my big kids pack food away now.) Galen seems no different.

As I’ve talked about before, our family follows traditional food recommendations from groups like the Weston A. Price Foundation and the Price-Pottenger Nutrition Foundation. There are talks in those groups about how no traditional culture delayed solids past 6 months. But I think even if they introduced solids starting around six months, not all babies took to the with great gusto straight away.

I am, however, trying to offer to Galen pretty consistently, and I’m being very choosy about what he gets. Galen’s first official food was a spoon of baked sweet potato covered in butter. He seemed to like that.

Most of his meals thus far have been egg yolk, however. Egg yolk and then egg yolk with a little bit of liver grated in to them. (In case you are wondering, it’s the egg white that is usually allergenic and should be delayed until baby is a year. I feel comfortable giving my baby egg yolk – I did wait several days after his first taste before giving anything else to watch for reaction.)

Some evenings he has attacked his egg yolk and liver with gusto. Other nights, not so much. He’s also had a taste of homemade chicken broth – he was unsure of exactly how to proceed with getting that off the spoon. And he greatly enjoys banging a chicken drumstick bone (all attached small bones/slivers picked off) around, but hasn’t really yet managed to the bone to his mouth.

The best starting foods for babies are not, as we’re told most of the time now, grain cereals. Cereals are really hard for babies to digest. Because Scott has a hard time digesting grains we’re planning to delay giving Galen any grains until he is 2 years old. But for all babies grains are hard to digest – the digestive enzymes for grains begin to develop in the second and third years of life. Even rice cereal is not easy to break down – and it’s also pretty worthless nutritionally.

Nutrient rich foods are the best thing to start your baby on. I always wait until six months to introduce solids though some people still like to introduce at four months. But after six months you can give your baby egg yolk (I soft boil Galen’s), tiny amounts of grated liver, butter, and broths. Babies need a lot of fat I also feel pretty comfortable with giving sweet potato, avocado, and squashes to babies around the 7-8 month mark.

I am excited about starting Galen on solids and I’ll continue to share our adventures. Enjoy the above picture from one of Galen’s first solid meals… it’s also a rare shot of him without a hat Sorry it’s grainy – it was taken with our video camera!

For more information on feeding babies check on my review on the book Healing Our Children.

In the early part of my postpartum time I didn’t really worry much about my own fitness level. I just took things easy and got into a nice routine with Galen and the big kids. Now, however, I’m really desiring to feel my own strength come back… and yes, I’d like a bit of tone back in my belly! I got Helene Byrne’s Exercise After Pregnancy: How to Look and Feel Your Best
during my pregnancy with Galen. I was really impressed by her straightforward information, and I loved that she had things you could begin to work on right away.

Well, life came along and took my “right away” with it – but I’ve decided that since schooling is done for the year I have enough time to work some conditioning routines into my day. I also have quite a bit of persistent muscle soreness and I’m hoping getting myself more fit and active each day will help minimize or even eliminate that.

I’m going to work through Helene’s “Bounce Back Fast” routines and I’ll keep making updates on the blog. I think it’s important for mothers – you and me included – to find the time to nurture ourselves and our self perception by being sure we feel comfortable in our bodies. And building core strength and stamina helps you to be able to stand up to the rigors of motherhood – day in and day out.

I used free patterns found online and I am really very impressed with the patterns and the instructions.  The patterns work well and were easy to follow.

I did two different types – one a completely waterproof trainer and one with a little water-proofing right in between the legs but nowhere else (basically they protect from the initial stream but moisture will wick onto the non-waterproofed area.

The waterproof trainers have a brown PUL outer layer (called an “outer” in cloth diapering lingo).

I just sewed the sides of our waterproof trainers because I don’t have a snap press and wasn’t motivated enough to do Velcro (Aplix, hook-and-loop).  If you do want to do Velcro I would add some length around the waist (girth) of the area… I think most babies have a pretty chubby tummy like Galen does and if I’d needed to overlap the edges to close with Velcro I don’t think they would have gone around his belly.

I used the flannel sheet for the inner padded area (the “soaker”) on both styles of trainer.  The inside of the waterproof trainer is also fully lined in the flannel.  The few layers of flannel give a little absorption (enough to hold one miss) but they’re not bulky or hot for the baby.  Flannel is also very soft

For the outer of the non-waterproof trainer I used a white interlock I had left from making pajamas for my boys.  I used red ribbing for both the waist and the leg-bands.  So far that seems to be working well for both.  The pattern instructions recommend doing elastic inside the waistband if using interlock – I can see  where that might be helpful with the ribbing as well, but they are working just fine without it.

So now that both types of trainer are done, which were easier?  Well, I don’t think I can say.  The waterproof trainers had a lot of elastic and I find elastic to be a pain.  The non-waterproof ones require more pinning and piecing together, but I find ribbing easier to deal with than elastic.  Both types took me about the same amount of time, though from start to finish the waterproof ones were probably a little quicker.

And I’m not helpful with which type I prefer – just like with the trainers I bought through another work-at-home-mom, I like each type of trainer for different reasons.  The waterproof ones are really nice for when I want to put Galen in the carrier and he hasn’t pottied in awhile, or when he’s in his Amby or something else I don’t care to possibly get wet.  The non-waterproof trainers are nice because I notice a miss much more quickly.  I also think they’re a little cooler for Galen and they’re easier to slip on and off for pottying.

The most conclusive thing I can say is I greatly prefer trainers to diapers!  Galen now has a dozen trainers in circulation – plenty to get through a few days (because yep, we still have misses! )

Here’s where you can get the patterns – many thanks to this generous mama!!! Waterproof and Non-Waterproof.

So I’ll give an update on how things went over the past month. Galen’s fifth month started much like the rest of his early months, with EC’ing going pretty routinely. However, it ended much differently.

Galen began to enjoy being on the floor more, and got really proficient at rolling from his back to his tummy. It seems like I’d put him down on the floor, he’d roll onto his belly, and immediately pee.

Now that got frustrating! It seems to be whenever that pressure is on his belly, or whenever he decides he’s done with being on the floor and starts fussing, that he just lets go and pees.  It was a bit discouraging for me because I’m used to catching most of his pees throughout the day.

The most discouraging thing would be when I’d offer him the potty and he wouldn’t go – then I’d put him down and he’d pee almost immediately.

I felt conflicted because on the one hand, I don’t want to get stressed or convey any stress about pottying to him – he’s just a baby.  But on the other hand we’d been “catching” most pees and I didn’t really want to give that up.

In the end I’ve decided just to be more vigilant about offering to potty him.  We ordered a couple of new potty bowls (BabyBjörn Little Potties), one for the van and one so we have a nice potty bowl in both the office and the family room.  As you can see from the picture, my oldest child Cassidy can help Galen to sit on the Little Potty!  That’s very helpful to me and both of them seem to enjoy it.

We had our first dirty diapers since Galen’s newborn week.  One was at our CSA farm… a complete blowout diaper.  I felt so bad.  The other was right after Cassidy and Asher’s Japanese lesson.  I was strapping Galen into the car seat and heard him start – by that point I had the new Little Potty in the van so I pulled him out of the seat, pulled off his pants, and sat him right down on the potty.  I squeezed into the van so I could shut the sliding door and give him some privacy while I helped him sit on the pot   That diaper only got a little in it since I got him over the potty as soon as he started.

I’ve decided I probably need to plan time to offer him the potty when we go somewhere.  I really don’t want him to have to have dirty diapers and he has such a clear preference for pooping in the potty.  I don’t want him to lose that preference.

So this month was a little frustrating as far as elmination communication goes – but also a good reminder.  He’s getting bigger, and things are changing for him and so they’ll change with EC’ing too.

One of my goals for the next couple of months is to get him more trainers made so he can be used to wearing the trainers full time, and having them taken off to go potty.  I have 5 pairs made now, bringing our total to 8 pairs.  I’m working on 7 more pairs (two different styles to see which I like best).  I’m debating if I want to switch to trainers for going out and about or stick with diapers.  It’s something I’ll have to think over!

Low milk supply seems surprisingly common in modern societies.  There is heated debate about whether this was so in more traditional societies – I haven’t seen any answer convincing enough to allow me to weigh in on any side of the issue.

(Note: please allow me to clarify that “seems” means that it appears common when you talk to many women. However, professionals believe, and I tend to agree, that low milk supply is actually quite rare in our present day, even among mothers who are not getting good food. I have participated in a lot of heated debate about this issue and I’ve known this issue to come between women before. The reality, I think, is that it is not common – however many women worry – needlessly – about the fact that it does *seem* common. )

However, a few women struggle with low milk supply and I do know some ways you can boost your milk supply through nutrition. Others may want to boost supply so they can pump and store extra milk or donate to a milk bank.  Remember, if you’re truly struggling with supply issues there are many other strategies you should be trying – such as increasing frequency of nursing. Get more ideas from Dr. Jack Newman.

The “Supplements”

One of the first things you’ll hear when you mention struggle with milk supply is “oh my friend used (insert food, drink, or herb here) and it really helped her milk supply!”

There are some things that have been shown to boost supply, and you can use them as a supplement to your diet.

• Oatmeal has been known to boost milk supply.  A bowl of oatmeal daily, or even oatmeal cookies, may give you a greater supply.
• Quinoa, a grain, has been used by traditional societies during lactation and is said to boost milk production.
• There are various milk teas on the market.  No, these aren’t teas made with milk.  They’re made with herbs that are supposed to boost milk production.
• Fenugreek is an herbal supplement you can take which many women have found helps boost milk production.  You know you’re taking enough when your sweat smells like maple syrup.

Your Diet

Though the above are nutritional strategies that can work, I believe if you’re suffering from low milk supply you should examine your diet.  Experts say poor nutrition doesn’t cause low milk supply.  However, poor nutrition can eat up your own nutrient reserves, causing stress and exhaustion for you.

You have heard that it really doesn’t matter what you eat, you’ll still make milk for your baby (and it’s still better than formula!)  Well, that’s true – but a higher quality diet makes higher quality milk*.  And a high-quality diet can help you to have abundant milk.  There may really be times when milk supply can’t be improved – but improving diet is one of the most basic steps to try and will benefit you no matter what the outcome.

Fats are Vital

The first step to take is to examine your fat intake.  No, I’m not going to tell you to cut out the fat.  In fact, I’m telling you the opposite.  Make sure you’re getting enough fat.  Be sure you’re eating good fats – “good fats” are traditional fats like coconut oil, butter, olive oil, tallow, and lard.  Avoid new “industrial” oils (such as corn oil, soybean oil, hydrogenated oils) like they’re a plague… they are!!

Use butter liberally to enhance the flavors of your foods.  Select full fat dairy products and don’t trim all the fat off your meats.  Drizzle olive oil on your salad greens.  Enjoy your food will full flavor.

How Much are You Eating?

Next up… are you eating enough?  Read through my nutrition pages to be sure that you’re eating well.  The late Dr. Brewer, the Weston A. Price Foundation, midwives, and other professionals all advise continuing your pregnancy diet during lactation.  Don’t obsess over pounds – just be sure you’re getting what you need for your baby.  Pregnancy and nursing do cause nutritional stress on your body.  You are growing another being.  You’re not going to be able to eat as if it were just you.  You left those days behind when you conceived your child!

Cut out unhealthy foods.  Processed foods, sugars, excessive carbs.  Get rid of those things if you feel like you need to “cut back” on something.  But eat healthy foods liberally – to satisfaction.  And don’t lie to yourself.  If you’re still hungry after supper have a small snack at bedtime.  If 3 meals a day aren’t cutting it for you (they don’t for many nursing mothers!) have snacks between your meals.

Eating plenty of food, and getting plenty of fluid, will help boost your milk supply.  You would not believe how many mothers I have ask me about milk supply who admit, when I ask them about what they ate that day, “oh, I had coffee for breakfast, and a small salad for lunch.  I’ll probably have a little bowl of pasta for supper.  I just don’t have time for anything else.”

Mama, make some time!  I confidently tell Galen “Mama needs to eat, or you don’t eat!”  There are lots of foods that can be easily prepared while your baby is in a carrier, in a bouncy seat, on a blanket on the floor, or being entertained by someone else.  I know it’s important to be attached to your baby – but your babe will not suffer because you’ve taken 10 minutes to prepare a meal!  Take a look at my pages on managing motherhood for more meal tips.

Eat Properly Prepared Foods – and Eat Some Raw

This next advice could get really broad, so I’m going to keep it to a summary.  You should prepare your foods properly.  This is primarily talking about grains, legumes, and seeds, which may be hard for your body to digest if you just eat them “as is” or simply cooked.  A soaking overnight may help make them more digestible, which in turn will make it easier for your body to utilize them and leave more energy for milk production.

Things you should soak are wheat, oats, rye, and other grains.  Nuts and beans (legumes) should also be soaked.  This is as simple as dumping your food into a glass bowl, adding some whey (the watery stuff that collects in your yogurt) or lemon juice, and setting the bowl in a warm place overnight.  Just add salt to nuts.  For flours (wheat, rye, etc.) you can soak with part of the cooking liquid.  The next day just pick up where you left off in the recipe.  After your nuts have cooked overnight re-dry them in a warm (not hot) oven.  It’s pretty easy and could help improve your digestion and help a fussy baby.

Also enjoy some foods raw.  Easier-to-digest vegetable salads are great with olive oil and raw wine vinegar drizzled over them (some veggies, like spinach, are best served cooked).  And enjoy at least some of your animal products raw.  In our world the easiest way to do this is to eat raw milk cheese, which is legal to buy at stores.  You can also make a number of raw meat appetizers (please use grass-fed animal meat) or enjoy soft-boiled eggs (please use pastured poultry eggs).  Or if you have access to it you can drink raw milk, or have raw milk yogurt or kefir.

That brings me to raw, cultured foods – which are very good for you.  I have noticed the absolute biggest boosts in my milk supply after I began to add extra cream to my milk, added yogurt with live cultures and lots of butter to my morning oatmeal, and began having a fermented vegetable condiment consistently each day.

Sauerkraut, kimchi, pickles, and chutneys are all cultured condiments when prepared traditionally.  You can find many of these items at your normal grocery store – make sure they say “raw” or “live cultures.”  These foods aid your digestion.

An Overall Effect

These dietary improvements are all beneficial to your overall health.  They’re not a miracle cure for low milk supply.  But by taking steps to improve your nutrition you are well on the way to creating better health for you, and good diet often directly correlates with the quality of milk you make for your baby (even if you’re not at a place where you can make dietary changes right now, your milk is still better than formula).  I know when we committed to a better diet in January of this year I noticed within the first week that my milk supply became more abundant and my milk was much richer.  Galen could hardly keep up!

Enjoy the benefits of improved nutrition for both you and your baby.  For more information on cooking techniques or the “whys” of what I have recommended check out the books listed at the bottom of this article.

*If you pay no attention your nutrition whatsoever you are still going to make milk for your baby and it is still going to be the best choice for your baby.  When I had my first baby I lived far, far below the current poverty lines and I couldn’t afford expensive organic foods.  I could, however, learn about nutrition and cook basic, healthy foods.  My baby thrived on my milk.  So even if you feel that you have little money to spend for food, know your milk is tailor-made for your baby.  Breastfeeding is best no matter where you are in relation to the poverty line.

I still strongly recommed that all mothers study nutrition and do what they can to improve their family’s nutrition for their own health’s sake and that of their children.  There is a wealth of resources at your fingertips for the best price out there – free.

Get more great breastfeeding how-to’s from these other bloggers participating in the Motherwear Carnival of Breastfeeding:

• Motherwear’s Breastfeeding Blog: How to help your baby kick the nipple shield habit
• Marketing Mama: How to pump successfully at work
• Mama Saga: How to breastfeed (or just look like you know what you’re doing)
• BabyReady: How to get baby to take a bottle
• Strocel: How to get breastfeeding off to a good start
• Baby Carriers Down Under: How to breastfeed hands-free
• Blacktating: How to treat a cold while breastfeeding
• Breastfeeding Moms Unite: How to become a breastfeeding support professional
• Breastfeeding Mums: How to wean a breastfed toddler
• Mama Knows Breast: How to get a spouse to help with breastfeeding
• Breastfeeding 1-2-3: How to teach your baby nursing manners
• Zen Mommy: Using YouTube to stop nosey questions!
• Happy Bambino: How to deal with unsupportive family members
• The Bee in your Bonnet: How to be comfortable around nursing mothers
• MoBleez: How to naturally increase your milk supply – try seaweed
• Milk Act: How to care for a sick nursling
• Maher Family Grows: How to to increase milk supply using supplements
• Tiny Grass: Tandem Nursing – how to do it without driving yourself and your nurslings crazy!

It is possible to “go green” for your kids on a budget – first off, by shopping used. Used clothing may not be “organic,” but it’s already here. It has been manufactured (or lovingly sewn by somebody!) and chances are, it hasn’t been worn out. By buying used clothing (and dressing your kiddos in hand-me-downs) you’re choosing green.

Does this mean your kid is going to look scruffy and unkempt? Not at all! Like I said, I like my children to look nice. I have an idea of what I want when I go into a second-hand store. I look over clothing carefully. You can usually find great clothes. I can almost always find knit golf shirts for the boys in great condition. I usually choose name brands because the quality is (usually) better. These shirts cost around a dollar each!

Another option is a children’s consignment shop. We have a Children’s Orchard in my city and I love it.  They have a “playclothes” room where tops and bottoms are usually just $1-2 per garment.  Again, I can often find knits or button-down shirts for the boys that are in great condition and name brand for a great price.  I also like the consignment shop because I can find nicer looking girl’s clothing there.  I’ve had better luck with appropriate girl’s clothing at the consignment shop than I do at the thrift store – but both places can be good.

My favorite option for cute playclothes for a litle girl, however, is one I just recently came upon.  It’s an idea for making a little girl’s dress with a cute top and a woman’s skirt – or even a large bit of scrap fabric.  I was able to use a knit turtleneck top I found at the thrift store for an early spring playdress for Cassidy.  I took an old pink women’s skirt, cut a wide strip of it, and sewed it to the bottom of the knit top.  I used gathers to give a cute look and match size.  It took almost no time at all, and Cassidy has a really nice looking little play dress (it took so little time that I won’t be devastated when it gets all muddy :p)  I really liked this idea – I’m going to use several of my skirts that are worn out around the hemline to make Cassidy some summer playdresses.

Fabric scraps and old adult clothing can be used to make a lot of children’s clothing.  Old adult shirts and sweaters can easily make baby and toddler pants – or diapers.  Those ugly knee-high socks you’ll never wear can make cute legwarmers for baby.  I made Asher and Brennan pajamas and was able to use the small amount of fabric left over to make Galen a matching set.  A set of worn-out flannel sheets has gone to make absorbent trainers for Galen.

An idea from my mother, which is not really clothing, but I like anyways, is to take old shirts your child outgrows but still likes to make a “quilt” for your child to keep.

Not only does shopping thrift stores and consignment shops (and yard sales) help your budget – it also helps to reuse clothing, and re-using is a very good way to go green.  And remaking something old into something new is not only a good idea, it’s fun and creative too.  You might just make something your child will treasure!

Get more ideas at Thrifty Green Thursday!

Despite first trying to convince myself that I don’t actually need sleep, I realized that I needed to acknowledge that this is just a really tiring time in my life.  I know I’m not alone in any way, and that you and many other moms are dealing with the same problem (though the causes are varied.)  A lot of us are just plain exhausted.

How do You Function?

That is an essential question for an exhausted mother.  You ask yourself “how am I supposed to function on so little sleep?”  At one point in my life I could go to bed at 3am and be up again at 7am with seemingly no ill effects…but long gone are those late nights as a theatre techie…  For some reason dealing with all the issues that crop up as a mother are much, much harder without sleep.

It’s important to come at life with a plan when you’re so tired  – and it’s also good to know just when you should chuck the plan. In this article I’m going to focus on some strategies to help you while you’re sleep-deprived.  I won’t focus on how to help you get more sleep because in many situations that’s just not going to happen.  You have to make your way through a tired season of life.

One tip I will give, if you’re up with a baby often, is to sleep as much as possible when your baby sleeps.  As a mother of four, my days of this luxury are long, long gone ;p

In most instances having a simple schedule will help you greatly.  In addition, a well-organized kitchen and meal strategies can help greatly.  Streamlining your cleaning can be helpful.  And know when to forget all of the above.  Detail on all of this below.  I’ll also cover outside commitments, and how some grounding and centering time for yourself can be helpful.

A Simple Schedule

I’ve covered scheduling pretty extensively in previous articles on managing motherhood.  I really believe that having a regular daily routine can help you a lot.  For bigger families like mine, a more organized and detailed schedule can be helpful.  If you just have a baby or only very young children a guiding routine can be sufficient.

The reason having a scheduled day helps when you’re absolutely exhausted is you don’t have to think.  Relieving yourself of the burden of decision making is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself in a time of little sleep.  Decision making can seem overwhelming and requires energy you would rather put elsewhere.

A set schedule or routine allows you to know exactly what is coming.  You know when you get up you make breakfast, then you wash dishes, then you and the little ones take a walk.  You have some outside play then come in for a snack.  Then some stories and playtime and it’s time for lunch.  After lunch a short time outside is followed by a nap.  And so forth.

You know what is going on when, you don’t have to decide what to do when.  It can be really beneficial when you’re tired.  It’s also good during times of grief when life seems tough (such as when you lose a loved one).  A set schedule helps you “go through the motions” so to speak, to keep everyone cared for even while it’s harder for you to plan.

This also helps you ensure that you are able to spend time with your children doing the things important to you – such as reading to them daily.  Sometimes in the stress and tiredness of life these things get forgotten.  Then another common mothering issue – guilt – surfaces.  By having a storytime, or tea party time, or vehicle play time, set into your daily routine you assure you’re able to be there for your little ones.

Kitchen

Ah the kitchen – every mother’s favorite.  You need to feed your family, but the last thing you want is to be stuck in the kitchen when you can hardly keep your eyes open.  This is a big issue for me too; I feel so tired and it takes a lot satisfy my family.

Simplify Breakfast and Lunch

I’ve learned some tricks that will help you, however.  First, pick a breakfast and stick with it.  Oatmeal is a good nourishing breakfast.  We have oatmeal and scrambled eggs most mornings.  Another breakfast idea is sourdough toast and peanut butter.  This breakfast can be served on paper towels for easy clean-up (or on coffee filters – an idea I learned volunteering in a special needs preschool.)

I recommend a similar strategy for lunch – pick a lunch for each day of the week and use that every week.  For instance, bean and cheese burritos every Monday.  Tuna salad every Tuesday.  Chicken and rice soup every Wednesday.    Or if your family is small enough to have sufficient leftovers you could plan to have leftovers from supper most days.

These strategies again eliminate the need for decision making and the benefits are the same as I described for scheduling.  You help to relieve yourself of stress and uncertainty.  It also simplifies the grocery list and helps you know what to stock up on during sales.

Supper Strategies

For supper you can do something similar – have the same meal every night of the week.  Perhaps plan different meals on the weekends.  Or repeat one menu for four weeks – I did this while I was a single mother and after we made an inter-state move.  I planned on week’s grocery menu and then repeated that for four weeks.

A variation of this is to plan certain types of meals for certain nights of the week – Monday is always Mexican food.  Tuesday is always some sort of roast.  Friday is always homemade pizza night, etc.  Then your recipes are varied but ingredients are similar and a “theme” helps you narrow down the food choices.

A crock pot is a great addition to the above ideas, and even more important if you don’t want to repeat meals.  Crockpot meals can be virtually effortless and let you put the ingredients in then forgot about supper.  You can toss together a quick salad just before it’s time to eat (or open a bagged salad if it will save your sanity) and you have a delicious meal ready to go.

Other easy choices are quick-to-put together casseroles and “one skillet meals.”  Try and choose healthy basic meals over processed food – you and the kids will feel better for it.  But processed food every once in awhile isn’t going to hurt.  Jarred spaghetti sauce and ground meat, canned beans added to rice, and taco kits with ground meat are some quick choices that are healthier than other processed foods.

If you have a recipe you can easily double go ahead and do that, then freeze the doubled (or tripled) portion.  This gives you a good, home-cooked meal on a day that you have absolutely no energy to cook.

Cleaning

Ok.  So far as cleaning goes I believe in letting it go when you really need to.  Cleaning should be the first thing you drop if you’re feeling exhausted.  In fact, if life is incredibly overwhelming I’ll be the first to tell you go buy some paper plates and plastic utensils – it doesn’t matter how un-natural it is.  Sometimes your sanity is worth it.

But, if you’re like me a clean home is a home that makes you feel better.  Here are some strategies that can help:

First, clean as you go.  If you’ve just emptied a pot or pan in the kitchen, wash it right away.  Running a bit of warm water and soap in your sink as you get your meal started can help with this.  Throw packaging and food waste away (or put it in the compost bucket) as soon as you generate it.  If you spill something on the floor take a moment to wipe it right down.

You can also look for quick cleaning opportunities.  This is a habit I’m trying to develop in my own life.  Keep a bottle of natural spray cleaner (or your own home made bottle) in a cabinet in the bathroom.  When you take a bathroom break take a moment to spray the counter and wipe it down quickly.  The next time you come in do the same with the toilet seat and rim.  Quickly sweep the kitchen or bathroom floor just before you leave the room.

These quick cleaning sessions will help you keep on top of things, and keep that little sparkle and shine in your home – which helps you feel better.

One of my favorite tips for handling kid clutter is to have a “clean up basket.”  I prefer to have my kids put their toys away into separate baskets/tins/bags for the toy.  For instance all our blocks go into one basket.  Cassidy’s horse toys go in another.  The boy’s toy vehicles go in another.  But this can seem overwhelming when there are toys all over the house.

This is when you grab a sturdy basket and walk through the house, picking up all the toys.  Then you and the children sit down and sort them into their appropriate place from the basket.

Teach them to help

Speaking of children, I recommend you begin to include your children around the house early on.  Even a small child can be given his or her own cloth to wipe a counter after you.  If you sing a “clean up song” as you work at putting things away it will help your small child to enjoy the activity.  If put a few blocks into his basket, then hand your young child a block, he will naturally imitate you and put his block away!  Take advantage of your young child’s natural drive to imitate, and his enthusiasm, to help you

My favorite cleaning routine (outside of day-to-day things that I try and do as soon as is needed) is taking a morning to clean.  I use Friday mornings to first take care of our family’s finances and then to clean – I clean the bathroom, the bathroom and kitchen floors, vacuum, and do an overall straighten of the house.  Other mothers prefer to do one of these areas each day throughout the week.

Another thing that may work for you is to do your cleaning while your partner is home.  Each of you can take a couple of areas of the cleaning to manage, then take a nap and enjoy the afternoon in your clean home.

Chucking All of That

I’ve given you some good tips above.  Having a set routine, simplifying and advance meal prep, and bite-sized cleaning tips can all help make life go more smoothly for you.  These things also tend to help keep the children content.

However, there are going to be some days when you are too exhausted to manage.  You may have been up every night with the baby.  You may be early in pregnancy.  For whatever reason life may just be overwhelming.

There are times when you should just chuck everything.  If you feel like you need to just let things go I recommend you plant yourself on the couch or in the bed with a bunch of storybooks and just read to your children.  Crayons and paper can also help.  Or if the weather is nice take your child to the park (or back yard) and just sit and watch while they run and play.

Always keep your children with you if you’re tired.  If you are resting on the couch, have them with you in the room.  Don’t let them be in another room where they could get into something.  If they are in the room with you, you can keep a sleepy eye on them.

If you absolutely need a break this is a good time to call eager and energetic aunts, uncles, godparents or others who will be happy to chase your young children around.  Grandparents are also a good option

When You Get Sick

Sometimes when you’re “running on empty” you end up getting sick.  This is a lot more likely if you have older children – but it can happen even if you’re just tending the baby.

If you get sick go ahead and follow the suggestions above.  There are also some other things you can do.

If you need to sleep and you have young children you may want to create a baby-proofed space in their bedroom.  Put up a baby gate, have some toys, and you lie down and rest as much as possible while they play.

Running a shallow bath and putting them in to play while you sit and relax in a chair in the bathroom is a good option for a few minutes of not having to chase children around as well.

Again, as I said above, keep your children in the same room with you.  You will immediately see if they do something they shouldn’t.  You don’t have to worry about them getting into something in another room.  If there are sibling fights or bad attitudes you will have seen what happened and be able to address it immediately.

Outside Commitments

I am a firm believer in staying close to the home with children.  One playgroup a week, if that, is sufficient for a small child.  You can your children need to have a living, breathing rhythm at home.  Modern culture may tell you that you need to have your little ones involved in sports, art classes, dance, preschool, and various other extracurricular activities but the reality is your little ones will become bright, inquisitive children just by being home and helping you with daily life.  A trip to the grocery store where they are involved is a thrilling learning experience.

Say “no” to many outside commitments.  Pick one playgroup with mothers you enjoy and playmates your child enjoys.  Spend the rest of your days in a comforting routine at home.  Don’t drag your child all over town on errands if you can help it (I know sometimes you just can’t).  A trip to the market once a week and a playgroup can become beloved parts of a child’s routine – things they look forward to.  But otherwise young children are content to be home helping you (unless they have been taught to expect constant entertainment.  If that is the case I humbly recommend you change your expectations and help them change theirs!)

You will feel better if you are not “go, go, go” each and every day.  I constantly evaluate what we do.  In our city there are lots of playgroups, classes, and lessons I could take the children to each and every week.  There’s a lot that I want to do.  I find myself saying “no” to a lot of it, however.  I get stressed and the children get stressed when we’re always “out and about.”  I try and pick the opportunity that best fits me and the children, and stick with that.

It’s hard to say “no” and it’s hard to put aside things we want to do (go to the bookstore or mall) but there are times when it’s best for our children that we do just that.  If you’d like to go out it may make sense to wait until your spouse or a relative/friend can watch your children and you can browse the bookstore in peace

Spiritual

I don’t want to leave this off because I think it’s important.  Beliefs are varied and different and those that you and I hold may be different.  Ok.  Political correctness aside, keeping yourself grounded from a spiritual perspective can really help.

My own beliefs help me get through the roughest days.  Even when everything feels like it’s going wrong and I feel like I’m getting absolutely nothing done, I know that I can remain calm and work through the issues.  I have this peace because of the grounding my beliefs give me.  And if I absolutely blow it (which I do sometimes, being human) my beliefs also allow me to bring myself to apologize and move on.

The time I take to read and study, even if it’s just minutes here or there, also help me greatly.  They allow me to live past my own emotions and be the mother I want to be – not ruled by frustration and anger, which are very burdensome emotions to struggle with as a mother.  It’s far better to have freedom from those and taking the time to grow in my own faith gives me that.

I encourage you to examine your own beliefs and find the strength you can in taking that time for you – and pray if it helps.  As mothers it’s oftentimes the only thing we can do

Realize that letting go of your emotions is often better than being chained to them.  Let go of frustration and anger – and self-pity.  They don’t control you

In summary

This has been a really long article!  I considered breaking it down and decided against that.  I may in time elaborate on the various sections.  But a comprehensive picture on how to function while you’re worn out is helpful.  Take what helps you in this article – it’s written from a lot of personal experience.

Last of all, remember that even though this time in your life is tiring, enjoy it.  You will only have children for a set period of time, and then there will be more full nights of sleep, mornings to sleep in, and hours to sit reading or daydreaming.  Once that time comes, you’ll probably spend your hours daydreaming about those sweet days when your children were little.  So do enjoy them while they’re here, even though life is very tiring right now!